Written by Ron Smith
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Friday, 21 May 2010

image for Mad Abbot Enters Leadership Race
The Madhouse?

Former Saturday night TV variety musician and all-round entertainer Russ Abbot has joined the Labour leadership contest.

The surprise announcement from Abbot comes at a critical juncture for Labour after the shock defeat in the 2010 General Election and at a time when the party is searching for a modernist contemporary 'not crap' political direction.

Abbot who co-founded the hard line group The Black Abbots in the 1970's, is thought to want to return to the lighter funnier days of the party when the leaders were lovable figures of fun such as Neil Kinnock, Michael Foot and Bobby Davro. Indeed, it was Davro who persuaded Abbot to stand, suggesting that the party couldn't do any worse than Gordon Brown and stating that Team Miliband would, "Fuck things up...and not in a funny way" if they were elected as leader.

In an interview with Living TV's political entertainment programme What's Happening In The Big House In London Abbot said, "The race for the leadership has become a circus and I am known as a bit of a clown. I think I've got as much chance as anyone...as long as my trousers stay up...and even then I think I'd still be in with a chance."

Although many party members are smirking at the thought of Abbot standing for what could be the most powerful position in the 21st most powerful country in Europe, there are some who believe that Abbot would be a great elixir for the party. Shadow Cabinet Maker Les Dennis said, "I worked with him in the 1980's and I knew him then."

If elected, it is almost certain that Abbot will introduce radical reforms and sources suggest that his first priority will be to push an emergency bill through parliament to rename the House Of Commons as The Madhouse and to have The Last Of The Summer Wine theme tune playing whenever Gordon Brown walks in.

Whatever the outcome of the leadership contest one thing is certain - Abbot's inclusion in the race has certainly made it more interesting. As we have recently seen with the Con-Dem coalition, politics can be a funny business and who knows, in five years time we may well have a clown running the country.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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