There was shock across the country as Weightlookers announced its' brand new "Doggy doo so you should too". The idea is very simple, some dogs eat their own turds and a fat dog is rarer than a fat human, therefore eating a soggy brown sausage should help the weight just fall away.
A spokesperson from Weightlookers told me: "There is a lot more to this diet than just eating dog poo. Because of the disgusting stench, the lardies will have to wash their teeth several times a day, making the rolls of fat ripple giving them even more exercise than reaching for the TV remote!"
"Also included in the diet is the requirement to abandon anything you are doing and chase madly after cats whenever they appear, and at every Weightlookers meeting they have to sniff each others bottoms.
That should encourage the fat lazy shits and the wobbling mountains of jelly to get of their fat arses and quit Weightlookers!
Weightlookers deny that they're over-subscribed and that their member have actually gained weight, meaning they can no longer get through the doors.