Willy Vanka, the Chief of Brutish Airways has vowed to smash the UNITY trade union, whatever the cost to the company, its shareholders, or its employees.
In an impassioned speech, reminiscent of the Glory days of Margaret Thatcher and Sir Ian McGregor in full flow against the miners, when workers rights were flung contemptuously out of the window like used Kleenex, Vanka told his audience:
"These people need to get real. If I want to fire them all, then re-hire a smaller number of people who I can pay less and not have to offer employee priveleges to, then that ought to be my right. Where is the justice in the world if I can't do that?"
When asked from the floor about the financial hits the company would suffer as a result of strike action, and the volcanic ash fiasco, Vanka replied that the cost of the exercise was irrelevent. Going on to say that he would crush the union like a grape, and foaming a little at the mouth like a rabid dog, he insisted that even if he bankrupted the company, fired all the employees and lost every penny invested by shareholders, it wouldn't matter, because it would mean he'd destroyed the union.
A wild eyed and copiously salivating Baroness Thatcher could be seen applauding wildly and making nazi salutes from the wings.
Pop diva Cheryl Cole said she didn't really care either way because she used Virgin Atlantic most of the time these days.
Cheryl Cole is still 5'3"
More as we get it.