Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for SuBo chats to mystery man - fanatics unhappy!
Who is he?

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were tonight showing their displeasure at SuBo talking to a man over her garden fence. SuBo was spotted chatting to the man outside her Scottish home earlier today.

"How dare she speak to a man we don't know!? We all know she should only be talking to Piersybaby!" rambled a fanatic.

"Well, even though the photo's taken from about 3 miles down the road, I can clearly see that she's angry and giving him a piece of her mind!" said a fanatic.

"I guess this must be an old boyfriend? How can she possibly know any other men in Blackburn, having only lived there for nearly 50 years?" queried a deluded fanatic.

"Well, I have analysed her body language," said a self-appointed expert in elementary psychobabble. "You can clearly see that she's in love with this mystery man from the way she has her back arched and her arm is at less than 45 degrees to magnetic north, while her feet are pointing to the east. Yes, that definitely means she's in love!" continued the fanatic.

"Oh, this is not on at all. She clearly doesn't love me. I'm off back up the CN Tower to protest!" said a Canadian fanatic wearing no pants.

The mystery man later said "I only asked her if she knew the way to the bus stop! Now I have hundreds of loonies from America threatening to bless me!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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