Written by Philip McArthur
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Topics: London 2012, mascot

Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for 2012 Olympic mascot unveiled - It's a one eyed trouser snake.
Anyone want to see my trouser snake?

The official 2012 Olympic mascot was unveiled today and its a one eyed trouser snake.

Officials explained their choice: " The one eyed trouser snake is a fantastic concept. It's fun, it's tactile, it can be enjoyed by people of all ages, genders, religions and sexual orientation.

It is a unifying symbol. Young men everywhere will be proud of their trouser snake and the girls will want to share it with them.

We pre-dicked that within the next two years people everywhere will be sitting in front of their television sets in the evenings watching the Athletes perform and playing with their trouser snakes.

And the best thing is it will continue long after the Olympics are over. It will become a firm 'member' of the family."

Transsexual Jane (formerly Jim) Bollocksoff said " I used to have a trouser snake and I really loved it, but now its gone and I must admit I really miss it. Playing with it was something to do on those long winter evenings spent alone in my flat."

Lord Seb Coe revealed the one eyed trouser snake was due to be released last October but production was delayed as the first batch produced all broke in two. He explained " We did not want to start off half cocked."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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