Written by Nae mair crap
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Wednesday, 19 May 2010

image for Wenlock and Mandeville cheap mascots that mean nothing to nobody
UK games my aunt fanny

Apparently, Wenlock is the birthplace of the modern Olympic Games. Much Wenlock to be precise, a town in Shropshire in England.

Hence, the 2012 London Olympic mascots have been named as Wenlock and Mandeville.

Anyone thinking that Peter, Lord Mandelson sashied his way into this one as well would be mistaken. It's not him it's named after but Stoke Mandeville hospital, famous for treating spinal and other serious injuries.

This short explanation should make readers all the wiser but even most Brits would be struggling to make the connection.

So we have two refugees from Sonic the Hedgehog as mascots to the exclusively London games. Some people wanted to name them Coe and Johnson but Clegg and Cameron pulled rank.

"We will choose the names, in the spirit of coalition and everything will be different now politics" announced C Nick Legg, "I agree with Nick" said the Prime Minister.

The names were chosen, as CamClegg Incorporated wanted to be inclusive, even though every Brit knows these UK Games are the "London Games". Just keep buying Lottery tickets to fund this, the biggest "noses in the trough" event since the MP's expenses marathon.

The London mascots might have been given Slavic names to celebrate the many thousands of Eastern Europeans apparently building the Olympic sites and infrastructure. The head honchos vetoed that one as one of their joint Prime Ministerial decrees.

Still, the chosen names flow better than Much and Stoke.

The naming of the new Olympic Arenas should be fun. Coe, Coe, Coe, Coe and Coe will save on printing costs. He'll be the King anyway if he gets the 2018 World Cup to come home with Lord Beckham and his 1782 page bid bribe book.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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