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Tuesday, 18 May 2010

image for Queen Elizabeth II Will Be Happy When Prince Charles "Gets Over His Whoopie Cushion Phase"
"At least he can't do it to us when we're standing up!"

Prince Charles, the 61 year old heir apparent to the throne of England, is not making the Queen happy. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, said that "we will be pleased when my son finally outgrows his current Whoopie Cushion phase and stops sneaking them onto the throne."

Charles has also been a naughty boy with the guests and on State visits. In the last year, he has snuck Whoopie Cushions onto the chairs of U.S. President Barack Obama, the Pope, the United Nations Secretary General, Tony Blair, all three of the recent major candidates for Prime Minister, eleven other Heads of State, and sixteen Foreign Ministers/Ambassadors.

The Queen, however, has been his major target. While members of the press have witnessed a dozen incidents of apparent loud flatulence that could be blamed on pranks, Palace insiders admit that there are five or six incidents per day. "It seems he wants to make Her Majesty look and sound like an old fart."

As expected, Elizabeth's response to this has been a royal "we are not amused. This is childish and absurd and so American in it's baseness and juvenile humour."

When asked if there was anything she was doing to stop the Cushion moves, the Queen said that "I've instructed William and Harry to give their father wet willies and a wedgie the next time that I sit on that infernal noise maker. Maybe that will slow him down. The next step after that is a swirlie and a titty whistle."

On a related note, Charles admitted that he has never once snuck the whoopie cushion under his wife Camilla. "She's just naturally loud when she breaks wind," admitted the Prince.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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