London - (Blue Ass Mess): An awful lot of Tory ladies' soiled panties have gone missing since the 6 May general election result.
And the defamaTory fingers are starting to wag in Nick Clegg's direction!
"Most of the said items of underwear were never snatched from laundry baskets, of course," vice squad sources commented today.
"Mostly they were exactly where they're supposed to be: holding up the true blue derriere."
Glib-Dem leader and UK deputy prime monster Nick Clegg is rumored to be a thong man with a cache of undies to rival the National Collection at the V&A.
Last year Tpry life peer Lord Bagri (sic) had a dinner party for Lib Dem chums after which his lady wife Usha Maheshwary Bagri complained about losing her M&S high-legs.
"I blame that upstart Cleggover," Lady Buggery (sic) said later.
Ex-MP and notorious lardarse Ann Widdecombe takes a size 22 XXL.