Written by Bill Licks
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Topics: Lottery, Nick Clegg

Sunday, 16 May 2010

image for Nick Clegg is Britain's biggest lottery winner
David Cameron - Looking forward to some Krispy Kreme Dougnuts at work tomorrow

A 43 year old civil servant has become the UK's biggest Lottery winner after stepping forward to claim the 84 million pound record prize.

Nick Clegg from London didn't even realize he had won the fortune until his wife found the ticket in a pair of trousers she was about to take to the dry cleaners. He was about to throw the ticket in the bin when he noticed a copy of the News of the World had the numbers printed on the front and they were exactly the same as the numbers on the lucky dip he had bought.

Clegg had just started a new job earlier in the week as a PA but is keeping quiet as to if he will carry on working. He suggested he might pull a 'sickie' tomorrow as he plans to have a few drinks that will no doubt go on well past midnight. He did hint however, that he is looking forward to returning to work on Tuesday to tell his new boss to 'stick his shitty job up his arse' although his wife has warned him not to use bad language just in case he needs a job again in the future.

He will celebrate at the weekend by holding a big party expected to be attended by many people, unlike a previous party of his that attracted only a few people even though many said they were interested.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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