Written by Bill Licks
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Topics: Labour, volcano

Sunday, 16 May 2010

image for Volcanic Ash Cloud enters Labour leadership bid
Best wishes Pumpkin Head

The most hated cloud in Europe has returned to the UK after its holiday in Spain and has decided to challenge Ed and Dave Milliband from the Chemical Brothers for the leadership of the Labour party.

Ed and Dave have just finished recording their seventh studio album and are warming up for a UK tour in the summer by playing a secret gig at the Labour Party HQ in London tonight. Among the guest vocalists performing with them will be Cheryl Cole, Susan Boyle, Gordon Brown and the winner of the 2010 Monaco Grand Prix, Mark Webber.

Ed, the one with the hair who used to go out with Lily Allen is favourite to become leader of the Labour Party, however Tom, sorry Dave is hoping his challenge will gather momentum with the help of some block rocking beats.

The Volcanic Ash Cloud is the surprise contender and although not very popular at the moment looks set to win a few fans this weekend after upsetting Richard Branson as he couldn't fly any of his planes out of Manchester airport today.

Meanwhile, one of the other contenders, singer songwriter Ed Balls has just finished penning his first song in over 2 years after taking time out to 'get his shit together.' It will be released as an EP called 'The Freaky Head Blues' and is dedicated to the man who has influenced his whole career, but has been tragically struck down with cancer, Frank Sidebottom.

Be strong Little Frank. He'll get through it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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