London, Sunday. Following his less than dignified fall from grace in the national election recently, former PM Gordon Brown, in a fit of pique, has declared that he will raise a people's militia and seize control of Scotland.
"I'll have my vengeance on those Saxon Tories and Norman Liberals" he shouted at a otherwise empty school hall meeting. "Wee bonny Scots are not going to be ridiculed by infidels and charlatans."
Brown is intent on reviving the ancient tensions between Scotland and England, despite there not having been a armed conflict between the two since 1745, the battle of Culloden where Bonny Prince Charlie's doomed insurrection was finally put down by English forces.
Brown says he has considerable backing in the highlands and that he claims the entire Dundee United Football Club are solidly behind his cause.
There is no hiding his ultimate goal is to strike back at Westminster and regain the premiership that he feels he has been cheated of.
"Those snivelling varmits will regret every minute they're alive when I'm finished with 'em" Brown added.
New Prime Minister David Cameron just laughed when told of his predecessor's hair brained plans.