Kentucky Fried Chicken, the world's greasiest Fa(s)t Food outlet, was fined £19,000 today after a Cockroach was found eating a chip in its Leicester Square Branch.
The Cockroach, Denzil the Muncher, had apparently entered the establishment after enjoying an evening at the cinema. Having ordered his meal he soon found himself in trouble.
Denzil picks up the story. "I'm a McDonald's Roach really, but KFC was there and I was hungry. Soon after I had my first munch (that's my name!) I began to feel very unwell."
Horrified customers phoned the Emergency Services and Denzil was treated at the scene by an animal rights ambulance crew. "It was touch and go," one of the Paramedics told us, "as the fat was already congealing in his little body. We had to use the defibrillator on him at first."
Environmental Health Officers have spent the day scouring other outlets in order to prevent a further occurrence. All Cockroaches are being warned about the dangers of grazing at KFC.
A spokespersonnage said, "Roaches asking for decent service and wholesome food at KFC is just like expecting a standing ovation at a paraplegics convention."