Middle Englanders everywhere were falling to their knees giving thanks this morning as they awoke to find David Cameron firmly ensconced in the hallowed halls of Downing Street.
For, as we can exclusively reveal - The coming to power of the Conservative/Lib-Dem alliance has delivered Britain from a fate far worse than any threat posed by the French, the Vikings, or the jackboot.
The startling discovery of a top secret dossier in a barn near Cheltenham this morning reveals that under a Labour government, Gordon Brown had planned to sell off Middle England to a Chinese/US investment consortium.
The dossier reveals how a progressive Britain has no further use for rolling countryside, chocolate box villages, picturesque pubs, village stores and rural Post Offices, so Middle England should be sold off for development.
It is thought that these development plans included turning over eleven English shires to the Chinese for development into unsafe coal mining on a colossal scale, giving over Hereford and Worcester to a US fast food giant for meat production, levelling the New Forest into an open cast bauxite mine and turning the Lake District into a water park with cartoon figures. All of this would doubtless have been inflicted upon an unwary Middle England had it not been for the timely intervention of the Conservative/Lib-Dem alliance.
That Nick Clegg chappie says we should all thank our lucky stars.
More as we get it.