Nick Clegg and his Lib Dems have opened the gateway for his arch rival to be announced as Britain's No. 1 wanker with Nick himself being selected as the second biggest wanker.
Wanking is a fond hobby of politicians, they often wank themselves, they sometimes pay for it (all above board and registered as a genuine expense for lonely MP's away from their lonely wives, who also wank!) and even wank each other!
Now over the last 5 days two of Britains major wankers have certainly been caught heavily masturbating in the toilets of the House of Commons hoping to find out who the biggest wanker of them all is.
It has now been revealed and Cameron won it "hands on" with some slight assistance from his No. 2, Clegg.
Britain is very happy to have come-up with these 2 major wankers and are hoping they will have a common wank with that other major global wanker, Obama.
As for our past No. 1 wanker, Gordon Brown, he has been "tossed" out of Downing Street, wanking all the way home for a cup of tea, biscuits and a good ol wank on his private bog.
Yes, Rt Hon Spoof Readers, the right choice has certainly been made and now everybody can gather round and have a good old-fashioned wanking party in praise of our new champion wanker, David Cameron, what an old tosser!