The British Public have decided to form their own Government, following the protracted discussions of the 'professional' politicians.
Mrs Eileen Morris of number 17 Salcombe Avenue decided to pop round to see the Queen earlier today. "I said 'Yoo hoo, Queenie! Do you mind if I form a Government with some of my neighbours?' She was delighted. She hates all those politicians just as much as we do."
So Mrs Morris will be the new Prime Minister. Mr Colin Green, who lives at number 27 and has just returned from a caravan holiday in Totnes, will be Home Secretary. David and Perry Fallon, the identical twins from 104 Haselmere Crescent have agreed to be Foreign Secretary, on the understanding that it will not interfere with their school work, otherwise their dad will kill them.
Mary Hollis, who lives next door to them at number 106 is a nurse and has agreed to be Health Secretary in order to get back at the surgeon who pinched her arse three months ago.
Other cabinet positions are still to be filled, but Mrs Morris has ruled out a deal with the Liberal Democrats. "That Nick Clegg! Just who does he think he is? Well, he can't just come in here and tell us what to do. He's as bad as him at number 45, you know, with the lumbago and the eyebrows. Yes, him. Anyway, we are going to go it alone."
Mrs Morris is busy working on the Queen's speech with her husband and Wayne, the clever kid from number 63.