Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for Tory MP Conor Burns To Join Labour
Burns had crossed the floor

Conor Burns, recently elected Conservative MP for Bournemouth West, has stunned local party activists by resigning the party whip and crossing the floor. Burns has joined the Labour Party.

The new MP said "I am doing this purely out of self-interest. It has nothing to do with conviction politics whatsoever. If I am to advance through the political ranks and become Prime Minister, then I have to do absolutely anything to achieve my goal."

Self-confessed bachelor Mr Burns followed up by declaring his support for Ed Balls as Prime Minister. "I love Balls. All I ever dream about is Balls."

Local party activists were left fuming by the move and are said to be wanting a by-election as soon as can be arranged. Burns has so far resisted all calls to resign, saying that he was a complicated kind of guy. "I just get so confused. Life? I dunno."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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