Written by Earl Grey

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Topics: Ass, dictionaries

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for 100 Year Old Mistake Found In Dictionary
Some people have too much time on their hands

The world of lexicography was left stunned, shocked and dumbfounded last night as a mistake that had long gone unnoticed in the Oxford English Dictionary was uncovered.

The phrase 'smart arse' first appeared in the dictionary 100 years ago. Since then its definition has remained unchanged.

'Smart arse (n) a clever cloggs (qv), someone who knows everything and annoys everybody else.

Now, however, an error has been spotted by a semi-retired Australian physicist. Professor Bruce Dingbat, occasionally of the Wagga Wagga Institute for Sheep in Space said "No worries, mate. Our Sheila kept saying to me that I thought I was a smart arse. One day, just for a laugh, I decided to look it up. I was amazed. A smart arse is really two words together, 'smart' meaning clever and 'arse' meaning.... well.... arse. So it should say 'clever arse', but it doesn't."

Dingbat was quick to contact the book's publishers, Oxford University Press, who were even quicker to send a gang of librarians round to knock the shit out of Dingbat.

Spokesperson for Oxbridge University Press, Chris Kamara, said "It's unbelievable".

Samuel Johnson is expected to be dug up and fed to a pack of rabid dogs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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