Written by Earl Grey
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Tuesday, 11 May 2010

image for Milliband Favourite To Join Girls Aloud
Ed Balls and Alan Johnson had clearly fluffed their chances at rehearsals

David Milliband has emerged as a favourite to join the new Girls Aloud line up, following the news that several members of the original band are to resign.

Milliband has impressed with his talented footwork and his vocal capabilities and he is expected to be announced as the first new member soon. Simon Cowell is currently giving Milliband lessons in how to succeed in the music industry.

The news will upset diehard members of the group's fan club who were hoping for an opportunity to vote for the new line up. Long time fan and Conservative MP Conor Burns said "This is undemocratic, duplicitous and I don't like his costume. I'd prefer another ginger one."

Girls Aloud swept into power after people became disillusioned with the Spice Girls. They offered something new to the British public. Sadly, those hopes appear to be dashed. Talks of a new line up may just be an attempt to flog a dead horse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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