London - (Crude Mess): Globules of the dark slime began appearing this morning as ex-BP CEO Lord Browne prayed fervently beside the Diana shrine.
The bastard son of Princess Margaret and Ronald Reagan left the UK supermajor three years ago following perjury allegations 'about some rough trade'.
His penitent kneeling form appeared at sunrise today, the third anniversay of his Goldman Sachs non-exec directorship resignation.
OPEC rumor mills have long maintained that any befouling of the Diana Memorial would be interpreted by the masses as the ultimate fulfilment of the Third Secret of Fatima.
This weekend's attempts to staunch the Gulf of Mexico eruption with a gigantic metal condom failed to stop the backwash surfacing in the fountain's crystal healing waters.
Last week the Hype Park eyesore was found to be awash with cocaine residues as nearby Park Lane Underpass urinals flooded the local water table.
Today's crude gush spill has temporarily halted Palace plans for a ritual open air ablution of the incoming new Prime Monster, whoever that may be.
Nick Clegg's ceremonial diving suit has a nice ernmine lining.