Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 10 May 2010

image for Nick Clegg Admits "I'm Sleeping With Cameron and Brown"
The Lib Dem negotiating team had arrived

Nick Clegg has admitted to being sexually promiscuous and that he "swings both ways" following revelations that he has been sleeping with both Gordon Brown and David Cameron.

"Yes, it's true. I have a very high libido. It's much higher than my share of the popular vote. I just want to screw anyone for power. I don't really care who it is, all I want is the chance to have a shag in 10 Downing Street."

Clegg has been known to advocate STD as an alternative to the current political system. However, STD may not lead to a huge increase for the Liberal Democrats and an alternative may be sought.

Clegg is yet to announce which leader has the bigger majority. It is thought that either Cameron or Brown will be able to get Clegg over the table on a more regular basis. They just have to make him the best offer. Brown has already bought some chocolates and some flowers. Cameron is offering a referendum and tight economic policies. It's going to be a difficult choice.

Clegg is currently on a street corner offering his seat to all takers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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