A little known group of hardline misfits called "The Spoof Party" were this morning being wooed by David Cameron & Gordon Brown for their crucial seat in the House of Commons.
So far David Cameron had only offered "Free Tea & Biscuits" with a yearly option on a cream tea at "The Bide a Wee Tea House" in Witney!
Gordon Brown's offer is much more interesting and the Spoofer's admit that the negotiating team's head could be turned?
The Hardline Marxist Dictatorship has so far offered:
Free Tea & Biscuits, a Little Chef Olympic Breakfast, Free Beer with vouchers printed on beer mats offering a free Kebab along with a Fat Bird in every Kebab shop on Friday & Saturday Nights.
A parking permit for Parliament Square, a custom made set of Darts normally only made for Mi5 to be kept behind the bar in the Red Lion Public House in Whitehall.
A free fully funded illegal immigrant to clean, fetch & carry for each member of the spoof party along with a Gold Oyster Card & a special black taxicab to convey spoofers from pub to pub (sorry, that should say from important meeting to meeting).
A special permit allowing spoofers into the City of London through the checkpoints without needing a to display a valid tax disc or wear a seat belt.
A guarantee to be free from prosecution for being cheeky to Policemen & the right to make as much noise as they like in the City on Saturday mornings.
Free fly fishing on the River Test every Sunday, a chance to try on Henry VIII's armour at the tower of London & a seat next to Roman Abramovich at every Chelsea home match!
The list is increasing as this was written so an updated more comprehensive one will appear later.