Written by Earl Grey
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Friday, 7 May 2010

image for Labour In Surprise Coalition Pact With Conservatives
Conor Burns was preparing for his maiden speech

The Labour Party has agreed to form a surprise coalition government with the Conservative Party following intensive negotiations. The big two plan to crush the Liberal Democrats once and for all.

Gordon Brown explained his decision. "Really there is no difference between the two parties. It was always just a matter of time before we got together. Lets face it, I'd sell my own mother just to stay in 10 Downing Street."

New Conservative MP Conor Burns is credited with arranging the deal. He sought a 'special relationship' with Peter Mandelson. Negotiations took place in a closet at Westminster, before Burns emerged from the closet, saying "At last, I've got a safe seat!"

Many expect the coalition to last for only a few months. The deal is one of political expediency and some big names have withdrawn their support. William Hague has refused to serve in the cabinet and Alistair Darling was upset at being replaced by George Osbourne.

Top political analyst Dale Winton said "It all seems a little bit queer if you ask me. I think Brown is just playing for time. I expect another erection... election very soon."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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