Terrorists have caused mayhem and carnage with a series of suicide bombers up and down the UK at Mecca Bingo Halls.
Al Qaeda have claimed responsibility, though some suspect that they would claim responsibility for a bus crash on the A1, because A1 looks remarkably like Al. MI5 have refuted claims that Al Qaeda are responsible, and instead have pointed the finger at Nans for Justice, a particularly nasty group of old aged pensioners who are up in arms at plans to introduce a membership charge at bingo halls. It is believed they hid the explosives in their knitting bags.
Mecca Bingo CEO, Osama Bingo Laden, is in agreement with MI5: "I can't believe that Al Qaeda would blow up their own, I mean my bingo halls. Those old ladies are not the innocent knitters that people think they are. Have you ever queued patiently for a bus only to be barged aside by a Nans for Justice member? They're lethal with those umbrellas you know."
Nans for Justice spokeswoman, Ethel "Biddy" McWater had a few choice words for Bingo Laden. "He's a criminal he is. We already pay twenty quid a week to play bingo in his halls, a membership charge would just be daylight robbery. Now, do you mind, I need to collect my pension, out of the way whippersnapper!"