Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 1 May 2010

image for Knights Templar To Swing Election For BNP
Bobby Moore Was A Knight Templar. World Cup Win In 66 All An Illumninati Conspiracy Against The Scots.

Strange days at Skoob News. A chap turned up on the doorstep today dressed in full Knights Templar regalia and told us that the next PM would be Nick Griffin, because he had been told by The Illumninati, an obscure organisation consisting of retired army officers based in Torquay.

The man, who identified himself as Eddie Presley (name changed by deed poll) told us that he, as the last remaining Knight Templar from the Accrington branch was pledged to support the BNP in their quest for global domination.

Presley told us that he had the full backing of the Paisley Debt Recovery Alleigance and that Nick Griffin was a shoe in for the election, because all the others were corrupt politicos who fiddled their expenses, cheated on their partners, and spent most of their waking hours brainwashing the public into believing that debt collectors were all leather jacket wearing, shaven headed thugs. With really loud bling.

Presley said that if we wanted a valid, honest, political system in these islands, we have no alternative other than to vote BNP.

And besides, the BNP are really fond of flags, and Presley apparently loves flags.

Speaking on the phone to us from their Torquay HQ, the Illumninati told us that they liked flags too, but that they couldn't talk right now because they were too busy working on a pensioner brainwashing scheme in Bournemouth.

Lost on the Underground. Without a ticket.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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