Written by Ron Smith
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Friday, 30 April 2010

image for Labour Win General Election
Brown Celebrates His Shock Victory

The Labour party has won the 2010 General Election by a landslide. Gordon Brown, who was expected to suffer a massive and humiliating defeat, has done the impossible and turned the most likely of losses into the most unlikely of victories.

Ecstatic Brown was speechless and said that in all his years as a politician this was his "fourth best moment in politics."

Despite unprecedented hatred and anger directed at Mr Brown by many people including 95 year-old pensioner Rochdale Bigot, who criticised the Prime Minister over the colour of his name, Labour won the election outright by a majority of one vote - enough to secure the House for another 4 or 5 years.

New electoral reform - vigorously demanded for by the Liberal Democrats was introduced by Brown just before the Bank Holiday weekend.

The Brown Bill states that: Should the need arise, for whatever reason, then the future government can be elected by only one person and that person must be the current Prime Minister.

The bill was secretly passed into parliamentary law on Friday afternoon by Gordon Brown and his lovely wife Sally at a coffee shop in Dudley.

Brown said of his victory that when the time came to vote he was still not sure who to vote for and only decided on himself at the last minute.

"It was a moment of inspired lunacy - my vote was based on the candidate whose surname came first alphabetically - I saw CL then CA and thought I was scuppered, but luckily Brown begins with the letter B and that's where I put my cross. I think that on reflection we are all in agreement that it is the right decision."

Although the 2010 General Election was not due to take place until May 6th, the newly introduced electoral reform has a codicil which means it can be called at any time chosen by the Prime Minister. Brown decided to bring forward the election to 3.30pm on Friday 30th April and voted on behalf of the entire country at 3.32pm after consulting his youngest son John.

His opponents - the Liberal Democrat leader Mick Clegg and the Conservative leader Dave Cameron have conceded defeat and a new government will be formed on Tuesday most likely from papier-mâché or modelling clay.

The victory means that Gordon Brown has been elected as Prime Minister.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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