A source close to the Prime Minister has revealed that a second sensational lapse of microphone awareness by Gordon Brown has revealed some exceptionally worrying news. After Gordon Brown called the little old lady in the street a bigot, he reportedly said these words.
"It doesn't matter who wins the election, the aliens are invading in July, so obviously we're all going to die."
The distinctly cynical tone of Gordon's pronouncement led to mass panic in the tiny car and they all nearly died anyway. But Gordon was later asked to apologise to the aliens by David Cameron. "Its an example of extreme prejudice..." He said. "and...dare I say it...bigotry. Just because the aliens are coming doesn't necessarily mean we're all going to die"
Gordon is reported to be aware that he may harbour an unfair prejudice against aliens but he's not the only one. Just this week Professor Stephen Hawkings is said to have pronounced he believed in Aliens, but they would probably mean bad news for our planet.
A Professor of Alien Culture and Equality from Edinburgh University said last night that Gordon should not be judged too harshly on this occasion. He said that this is a common prejudice held by most middle aged men in Britain. It comes from reading extremely fantastic comic books during childhood, such as "Marvel" and "The Excellent Adventures of Space Dog", in which all aliens were evil because they were green. Gordon will be expected to give a full apology but if he doesn't, then I suppose it doesn't really matter anymore... because the Aliens are coming and we're all going to die.
By Katarina Frogpond.