Written by bubblyian
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Monday, 26 April 2010

image for Cambridge Congestion Charge nearer part 2

Further to the previous story on a massive expansion in traffic lights, Cambridge Council announced today the rejection of yet another really practical, sensible and logical idea to reduce congestion in the city.

A spokeswoman said, "BubblyIan continues to make sensible, logical and constructive proposals and we are tired of inventing absurd, unrealistic and nonsense reasons for rejecting them, so we ask him to stop."

"His latest idea of dualling the Wilbraham Road to complete the eastern ring-road makes perfectly good sense, which is why we won't be doing it."

"His previous reasonable suggestions for sensible signage at every exit from the M11 and A14 ring-road towards known suburbs of Cambridge and key destinations such as Addenbrookes Hospital, rather than a generic 'Cambridge' exit, would unfortunately reduce traffic congestion in the city as motorists would avoid the centre and be able to go around the bypass to the nearest exit, if they knew which one it was. This is, of course, against Council policy of making things as difficult as possible for motorists in order to justify the introduction of the Congestion Charge and the £20 million of government investment attached."

When our reporter asked for a public meeting to be organised with the traffic planners, he was told that they could not be let out of Fulbourn (mental institution) for the evening.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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