Written by Jimarillo
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Monday, 26 April 2010

During last weeks UK Prime Minister electoral debate Gordon Browns message to Nick Clegg was a gritty 'get real' followed with a note of 'I deal with these situations every day'. These comments were widely regarded as a poke at the weaker kid we but it actually had a more severe undertone.

Whilst grounded under a cloud of volcanic ash, the European public were unaware that Gordon and other European leaders knew that the nuclear agreement between Russia and US had climaxed to a tense finale with each country pushing the button and launching their atomic arsenal against each other. International agencies scrambled their emergency groups and the UK's COBRA went into action. Also in the UK was the US's special counter terrorist agent Jack Bauer. Whilst working for the US Jack was also aware of the international implications of such disaster. The UK were told of Jacks rogue tendencies and they dispatched its black ops division headed by a man known as 'Peter', to kidnap Bauer and keep him hostage until the crisis had been suitably badly managed.

Of course whilst being held captive by the UK's secret government agency aka 'Stringfellows' and whilst drugged, he managed to evade his captors, flee to a military base in Oxfordshire and then proceeded to launch a ground to air intercept missile to destroy the nukes high in the earths atmosphere. This then reduced the fallout to nothing but a mere cloud of ash.

Bauer has now retired to a farm in Lincolnshire and has not registered to vote.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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