Persistent rumours circulating around London and traced to 'shadow' journalists allied with either the Libs or the Tories, are pointing with approbation at Cherie Blair claiming she is using multiple personas on the well known site The Spoof to boost the election chances of PM Gordon Brown.
Brown's bilge pumps have stopped working and he appears to be sinking deeper into the water drowning amidst a myriad of toxic problems and his own aggressive and bullying demeanor.
Ms. Blair, wife of former Labour PM Tony Blair, has said to be at loose ends lately as no one has come calling on her to 'help out' in the upcoming elections, mainly due the perception she's 'worse than swine flu' according to one official destined to lose his seat over the recent 'expenses' dust up.
Ms. Blair, who according to her biography, is 'smart as a whip', and became a barrister and a teaching professional , has come under fire due to her avowed bent of being a self proclaimed 'Socialist' despite her penchant for collecting a series of expensive residences said to rival those of certain besotted soccer brats.
Said to be an ardent anti-monarchist, critics say she is still hell bent to become a "Queen" in her own mind, while most still consider her a "Cinderella with Big Feet, and even Bigger Mouth."
Said one outraged member of a challenging party, "there's been a circulation lately of libelous leaflets spouting a bunch of falsehoods about candidates opposing the PM. Simply Outrageous, and the writing style has been narrowed down to a smattering of writers on the Spoof!"
The aggrieved spokesman pointed to the Blairs' 'rebirth' in Mexico in 2001 where the couple , clad only in thongs, had their bodies smeared with a mixture of Fruit & Mud, but not Marmite, and then 'cleansed' themselves in a steam bath where they were rescued after passing out in ecstasy.
"There's at least one socialistic vegetarian writing on the Spoof," he said,"and the list of probables also includes a disgruntled anti-England writer who has tried to cover his style with bad grammar and incoherent sentences....no Englishman in the Realm communicates this badly...we're on to him!"
In a preemptive public relations strike Queen Mudder, Spoof Icon and a barrister in her own right, but more concerned with Big Oil than Oily Politicians, stayed above the Fray saying, " It's a big Arsed Mess....but it's not my Arse this time!"
In an aside the astute social commentator said the aggrieved parties should look to the Vatican, Italy or France for the culprits, "Outside of those Olive Oil purveyors in Greece, they would have the most to gain!"
Since the injunction issued by the Crown concerning the origins of this story, it is regretfully announced, "There Will Be No More, Even If We Get It."