Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 25 April 2010

image for Contacting Liberal Democrats A "Bad Idea" Says Hawking
A fossil of a liberal found deep in the Welsh valleys. It is thought to have been part of a meteorite storm

Professor Stephen Hawking has warned against attempting to make contact with the Liberal Democrats. The legendary academic understands that finding life in another political party far away may be exciting, but he is concerned that it could end in disaster.

"As a mathematician I have to accept that there is a probability of life outside the major two parties. However, that life is probably just worms or other basic forms. It probably isn't very developed and its policies are likely to be random and unplanned. If we attempt to make contact with them we could create conditions for our own destruction."

Recently scientists discovered life in the Liberal Democrats. An organism known as the Clegg is thought to have exhibited basic intelligence. The size of the Liberal Democrats suggests that they have only a limited life span, but if conditions were right they could prosper.

The Liberal Democrats are from a planet far, far away. Not much is known about them, but they are thought to be hermaphrodites. A new film, 'Close Encounters of a Third Party' is expected to be released soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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