Written by Jaggedone
Print this
Topics: Pope, Condoms

Sunday, 25 April 2010

image for The Pope cancels his visit to the UK because the government want to issue a condom called "The Benedict Brand"
The Pope prays for forgiveness for his priests and the UK for being so "Heathen"!

The insulted Vatican and their leader have decided to cancel their spiritual trip to the UK.

The reason being that the Foreign Office foolishly leaked a memo to the press announcing that a new brand of condom was to be released coinciding with the Papal visit called "The Benedict Brand"!

UK Catholic Bishops are in uproar at the news and their spokesman, the Rt Rev Malcolm Bum-Slipin from Nottingham issued the following statement:

"This is awful Ducky, the world knows that Catholic priests don't need condoms whilst having sex with under-aged choir boys, they are virgins and cannot get pregnant!"

The Pope is also disappointed at the news and also issued the following statement:

"The UK are a bunch of Heathens, Atheists and Protestants, the Catholic church is being discriminated against just because of our sexual-orientations and as for the condom, Brother Benedict was as Gay as the rest of us and didn't need a condom either!"

The present heathen UK Prime Minister (under election stress, be warned) Gordon Brown said, "what a shame, but I don't give a shit anyway because those bastards Nick Clegg and Cameron are up my butt already and I might just need a Benedict condom!"


Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 1?

2 24 20 6
50 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more