The insulted Vatican and their leader have decided to cancel their spiritual trip to the UK.
The reason being that the Foreign Office foolishly leaked a memo to the press announcing that a new brand of condom was to be released coinciding with the Papal visit called "The Benedict Brand"!
UK Catholic Bishops are in uproar at the news and their spokesman, the Rt Rev Malcolm Bum-Slipin from Nottingham issued the following statement:
"This is awful Ducky, the world knows that Catholic priests don't need condoms whilst having sex with under-aged choir boys, they are virgins and cannot get pregnant!"
The Pope is also disappointed at the news and also issued the following statement:
"The UK are a bunch of Heathens, Atheists and Protestants, the Catholic church is being discriminated against just because of our sexual-orientations and as for the condom, Brother Benedict was as Gay as the rest of us and didn't need a condom either!"
The present heathen UK Prime Minister (under election stress, be warned) Gordon Brown said, "what a shame, but I don't give a shit anyway because those bastards Nick Clegg and Cameron are up my butt already and I might just need a Benedict condom!"