Written by Nae mair crap
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Saturday, 24 April 2010

image for Susan Boyle flight from Tokyo, were they all sedated
that cheapo Cowell bought me a bangle off Camden market

It is reported that something strange happened to the posh people on the Very Special People's Upper Class section of the flight carrying the Scottish singer, Susan Boyle and her team back from Tokyo to London several weeks ago.

Reports, from an unknown, source suggest that Miss Boyle was drugged up, comatose, then wide awake, fell into a stupor, woke up and shrieked at various stages throughout the flight.

No one else on that flight has been able to recall that any of this actually happened. Flight crew, are even now, not able to give any account of the happenings in that 12 hour flight. Airline chiefs are at a loss to comprehend this mass amnesia of crew and passengers.

Flight crew have been thoroughly debriefed and are unable to explain the flight. Several have even checked rosters to confirm that they were in fact working on that flight.

"It's a complete mystery, I recall hearing time and time again this song, "Memory" and it just stopped. All I remember is the song then nothing until two days ago.

One female passenger remembers seeing the singer sitting comfortably, watching an in flight DVD of her many performances and, fiddling with her bracelet but can recall nothing after the 11th version of "Memory"

"My memory has failed me" she whispered, "I really cannot remember much after I drank my complimentary saki"

Eminent behavioural psychologist, Professor Petula de Fiart, has begun investigating the strange case of the missing three weeks.

"I am very well qualified" she said, "People search me out to assist but this is not on my list of experiences"

She has done lab tests, playing the "Memory" song repeatedly and has concluded, with 95% certainty, that it is not the cause of the collective amnesia.

"I am, however, fairly certain that the cause may have been a piece of jewellery worn by Miss Boyle" she said, "what appeared to be gold and diamonds may turn out to be a rather cheap and nasty copy. The jewellery is giving off a strange pong, which suggests the components may be reacting with each other"

"We need to sample Miss Boyle's perfume as that may have been the catalyst that caused the "aroma in the air." Rest assured we will test and test until we find the answer. I am crossing all negativity off my list" she smiled.

Fowl play is not suspected.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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