Gordon Brown has received in the boost in the polls today with the news that 20 per cent of voters would rather vote for him than be beaten soundly around the testicles with a rubber cosh.
The poll organised by the BBC and the Guardian, also found that 29 per cent of votes trusted Alistair Darling more with the economy than 'the little boy who lives next door.'
Voters were asked: 'In an election would you vote for Gordon Brown if the alternative was having your genitals thrashed with one of those little black clubs like the Gestapo used.'
62 per cent said they would rather be beaten and 18 per cent said it all depended on how hard the thrashing was.
Voters were also asked: 'Alistair Darling has done a fantastic job on the economy. He's better than the little boy who lives in the big house next door, isn't he.'
Just under 30 per cent agreed that Darling was probably better at sums than the diminutive infant, provided the boy was blindfolded throughout his term in office and was not allowed access to a calculator.
More than 92 per cent of those questioned agreed that 'Nick Clegg come's over nice, but his policies are dreamed up on the planet Borrog aren't they?'