Written by Lady Godiva
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Saturday, 24 April 2010

image for Subo fanatics horrified about latest news of security measures being taken to ensure Subo privacy in her new home
Subo fanatics are lining the streets of Blackburn with red carpets for Susan to walk on

Subo fanatics are up in arms on hearing of the new security wall being built around Susan's new home. When hearing of the height and thickness of the wall, plus the moat, they began wailing and flailing.

"It's so not fair," wailed one of the Red Scarf Brigade, "We have spent a small fortune, mostly our children's college funds and inheritances following OUR dear Susan around the world.

A couple of us have even gone through the trauma of divorces as our husbands complained that they never see us these days. We have been disowned by our children and some other relatives who just do NOT understand how much we love Susan Boyle above them.

Now, obstacles are being put in our way to prevent us getting close to OUR dear Susan. We are sure she is much distressed by this herself.

We are certain she will not survive without regular contact with us. This is a sad day for Susan.

How on earth do you expect her to be able to record another C.D. if she is prevented from having contact with us. She relies on us and looks forward to all the gifts we give her, and our blessings."

This fanatic's twin sister wiped away tears as she commented,

"We won't be beaten. We have plans of our own that we are working on. We have hired some brilliant engineers and technicians who are, as we speak, working on designs for jet packs which will enable us to rise into the air to a minimum of 20 feet. This should enable us to hover above the wall and see our sweet Susan.

Scientists are working with these engineers and technicians to come up with a way in which we may, somewhere in the not too distant future, be able to render ourselves invisible in an effort to get REALLY close to OUR dear Susan."

Another fanatic commented that he had applied to become a member of Susan's Security Force. He did not give his name as he doesn't want to jeopardize his application.

A reporter gave a brief description of this fanatic. He has oriental facial features and needs his teeth whitening. He was wearing a chain of office around his neck and held a small pedestal in his hand, onto which he hopped from time to time.

Whenever he hopped up onto his pedestal, the other fanatics gathered around his feet, kissing his feet and showering him with blessings.

This strange scene was caught by some onlookers on their mobile phones and will soon be appearing on YouTube.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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