Scottish singing sensation, Susan Boyle is said to be delighted with her all singing, all dancing laptop, presented to her by a prominent technology store.
Although still very much a novice at techie stuff, Miss Boyle is impressed by the laptop so far.
The wonderful lady has found her way to youtube and has at last seen her youtube audition, yes, the one that has been viewed 400 million times, give or take a little exaggeration.
Her house is filled with laughter as she clicks through all the nice and not so nice videos about her on youtube.
"Some people are wicked" the singer is reported to have said, "some are just plain daft and others they're blooming eedjits. These tribute thingies are the funniest. They should get a life."
Miss Boyle's IT consultant, the wee laddie next door, has been careful to block many sites that might make nasty viewing. However, Susan has found sites by herself and is roaring with laughter as she peruses at will.
"Och, what are they like," she said, "These spoofy thingimajigs are jest nutters."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa floooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor" she roars with laughter,tears running down her rosy cheeks as she reads about her face in a Galaxy far, far away. "The only galaxy I know is a bar of chocolate!!! Do ye want some, every big company sends me loads of free samples noo, meh whit a braw life!!"
Susan does a shimmy for us and laughs out loud, "Loads a money, de ye get it??"
Her young neighbour has blocked all the fansites,
"She'll feel sorry for thae sados and want to send them a' a cheque" he smiles, "She's too saft fer a' this but eh've seen thae fansites, load of bloody nuts. Blessing Blackburn fer f**** sake, get real."