Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 25 April 2010

image for Man In Gordon Brown Costume Feints During London Marathon
Always unlikely to make the finishing line

The humid conditions during the early stages of this year's London Marathon took its toll on one competitor. Colin Bumfluff of Harlington had attended the Marathon in a Gordon Brown costume. He was raising money for people who are forced to live in the UK during a General Election year.

Mr Bumfluff had just reached the Cutty Sark when he was set upon by a gang of Liberal Democrats, armed with rolled up copies of their manifesto. Mr Bumfluff valiantly fought them off, but the humid conditions took their toll. As he neared the finish line he began to stumble, falling just short of the tape.

Spectators looked on as a man in a Peter Mandelson costume attempted to give him the kiss of life. An ambulance crew rushed past, ignoring the stricken Mr Bumfluff. As he lay there spluttering something about fiscal policies and prudence, it became clear that Mr Bumfluff was hallucinating.

Runners had been warned to avoid fancy dress this year, after the disaster last year when a man in a John Prescott outfit had melted and caused a huge accident near Greenwich.

Mr Bumfluff was said to be stable in hospital, whilst Gordon Brown was in a critical condition.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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