Prime Minister Gordon Brown today spoke of his fears of a Conservative government and how it might affect the jobs market. "If you vote Conservative, then I will be out of a job. So will some of my friends, like Harriet, Peter and of course Alistair. We will all be out on our arse. Think about it before you vote."
Already hundreds of people employed by the Labour party are preparing themselves for the inevitable. Boxes have been packed and they are ready to leave their workplace for the last time.
Gordon Brown continued "I fear for the future of our nation. Already it would seem that a talented economic genius might join Alistair Darling in the dole queue. If you vote for the Conservatives, remember that you are voting people out of a ministerial car and all the allowances that go with it. I urge the people of this country to set aside self interest and vote to save my job."
David Cameron responded "There will be job cuts. However, if there is anybody talented in the cabinet, we might keep them. It's a very big IF."