Gay magazine "Ass-lover monthly" has printed a review of the leaders of the three main parties who are competing for the up and coming UK election.
They said, "David Cameron has a cherubic boyish face, which would look delicious with semen dripping off it. And as an ex-public school boy we're sure he enjoys that sort of thing!"
"Gordon Brown looks like a rough old sailor, but we have heard that he has an enormous scrotum!"
"Nick Clegg is like a narrow-faced version of David Cameron, and with a narrower arse too! Also, he's just as posh and went to public school too."
"So there you have it, please vote wisely and follow your penis."