Written by bubblyian
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 22 April 2010

30-year old mother of 16, Josephine Led, from Hackney has just broken the UK record for most children taken into care following the birth of her 16th child, a boy, yesterday.

Social Services officials were present at the birth to take the child away immediately after the umbilical cord was cut.

A spokeswoman said, "we have standard forms now pre-completed to save costs as we are aware of Ms Led's history and the danger of her partner, to the children. At each and every Court hearing during her pregnancies, we repeat the advice to dump her partner or we would take her baby into care immediately on birth and each time she refuses. We cannot understand why she chooses her male partner over her children every time as she knows what the consequences are going to be."

When asked what the problem with the partner were that made him such a risk, the spokeswoman said, "well it's obvious isn't it? he's a MAN, so he might abuse the children in the future if given half a chance. Ms Led is easily misled by him and we believe that she trusts him too much and hence would not be able to protect the children from him if he ever tried to do anything.

"We put the children's best interests at the heart of everything we do and the risk of having a man around, particularly the natural father, are far too great to allow Ms Led to be allowed to take any of her children home from hospital."

When asked about the concepts of 'innocent until proven guilty' and Human Rights, the spokeswoman continued, "everyone knows they don't apply to men anyway and certainly not in the family courts."

Ms Led was interviewed on release from hospital and asked why she went ahead with yet another baby knowing the consequences and she said, "I love the attention! I love having loads of legal bods and media people running around and asking me lots of questions. It's great, really great fun and makes me feel important for a few months. My life is otherwise very boring."

When asked whether she knew about contraceptives, she said "Yes of course I do, I'm not stupid, you know. I am going to vote for them in the election on 6th May."

Make bubblyian's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 3?

5 1 15 8

Go to top