Socialist Reichs Bunker, LONDON: Surrounded by Gordon Browns inner conclave of sychophants, the stone faced Socialist Reichs Prime Minister, listens to a top economist explaining what needs to be done to prevent the United Kingdom losing its triple AAA rating. It makes difficult listening for the self confessed 'I've saved the World' Leader.
The Civil Service Economist explains, "The Labour party MUST provide the means so that we are able to protect our people and assets as we should be able to. The Labour Party must destroy the debt mountain that we have created and which is continuing to be increased, by this Labour Socialist Government."
After a slight pause for Gordon Brown and his inner conclave of sychophants, to take in this startling revelation, the Civil Service Economist continues, "It is the duty of the Labour Party to put this right for future generations and the only way to do this is to destroy the debt. Labour MUST cut out overseas aid, cut the civil service, cut the public sector, lower taxes and grow the economy on British enterprise and initiative, not by Quantative Easing."
Gordon Brown stands up sharply and explodes, "WHAT ABOUT THE WINTER FUEL PAYMENTS TO THE PEOPLE? ARE YOU B****DY MAD? IT IS THE RICH PEOPLE, THEY DON'T KNOW HOW THE ORDINARY PEOPLE IN THE STREET LIVE?"
After the outburst, Gordon Brown slumps back into his seat. The Civil Service Economist continues;
"If we are ever to provide for our economic future then we must have public spending reduced to a level that private industry can afford. It really is as simple as that."
With a look of consternation on the faces of Gordon Brown and his inner conclave of sychophants, the Civil Service Economist continues;
"Everyone with any intelligence knows that public expenditure needs to be reduced. This can be done without impacting on frontline services. For ALL funded bodies, firstly freeze all recruitment of jobs above £24000 per annum, secondly freeze all pay above £50000 for an indefinite period. Thereafter reduce the numbers employed with salaries above £50000 by two-thirds. Most of these jobs are non-productive, our public sector is like an inverted triangle with few people at the bottom and huge numbers at the middle and top levels. relatively small impact on jobless, huge impact on salaries and pension burdens."
One of Gordon Browns's sychopants, Tony Bliar the former Prime Minister, asks, "How can we do that?"
The Civil Service Economist replies, "Very easy, I have done this in the private sector a few times. Dont reduce expenditure on equipment, this impacts on the private sector job situation."
Gordon Brown's face has been getting redder and redder, but now Gordon can't take any more of it. Brown goes into a temper tantrum rage throwing all sorts at the aptly named 'Berlin Wall in the Bunker'. Some joke its part of Gordo's scrappage scheme;
"WHAT THE F****ING HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT YOU ARE PROPOSING WILL DESTROY THE RECOVERY, THE WINTER FUEL PAYMENTS TO THE PEOPLE AND PAYMENTS TO SINGLE ONE PARENT FAMILIES. ARE YOU B****DY MAD? IT IS THE RICH PEOPLE, THEY DON'T KNOW HOW THE ORDINARY PEOPLE IN THE STREET LIVE?"
Gordon turns to Tony Bliar the former Prime Minister, "BLIAR, WHAT SORT OF QUESTION WAS THAT? 'HOW CAN WE DO THAT?' LACKS ANY INSIGHT WHAT SO EVER.
McRuin, which is also another name Brown is called by even his own inner conclave of sychophants, then turns on them;
"I'VE NEVER HEARD SO MUCH RUBBISH IN MY LIFE. WHO IS THIS TOP ECONOMIST, WHO TALKS SO MUCH RUBBISH?" McRuin is pointing to the man who has tried to explain the economic downfall of Britain.
The Civil Service Economist calmly continues.
"With respect Prime Minister, I haven't finished yet. Having let the financial services industry run riot and skew the economy, this Labour government has exposed the UK to a massive fiscal crisis. The mountains of money borrowed to bale out the banks has to be repaid in a way and at a pace which satisfies our creditors. This process will involve allocating a large chunk of the UK GDP to debt servicing, leaving a much smaller residue for funding public services. At the moment, due to the proximity of a general election, Labour politicians are behaving as if this debt isn't an urgent problem. In fact the Labour Party is falling over themselves to spend even more on various dubious 'initiatives' to entice voters. As mere taxpayers the public cannot comprehend the enormity of the underlaying debt, and is happy to ignore it and focus on the sales pitches of the political parties. When the imminent election is over, whoever wins will have to face up to the reality of the crisis. The clever political trick of the Labour Party will be to carry public opinion to support the inevitable unprecedented contraction of public services over the coming years...."
Gordon Brown interrupts and just rages, "WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH, YOU ARE TALKING CODSWALLOP! I'VE SAVED THE WORLD AND YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ME?"
The Civil Service Economist ignores the shouting Gordon Brown and calmly points out;
"In October 2008, Alistair Darling forced a High street bank into liquidation. While the actual reason was probably sound (it was run by a bunch of corrupt thieves it seems), the way in which it was done and number of British Citizens who lost everything, was deplorable.
Prior to October 2008, the Government had created new banking rules allegedly to help counter terrorism. The rules meant that banks had a duty to identify their customers to a much greater extent. Neither the Tories nor the Libdems opposed the rules. However, a side effect was that the rules meant UK Banks no longer wanted overseas customers, as the costs were now just uneconomical.
In the months preceding October 2008, the UK's financial services authority advised - via the Isle of Man's financial watchdog - Kaupthing Singer and Feidlander bank to put the bulk of its assets (some £500M) into its London sister bank, Kaupthing Hf. The IoM bank duely did this. However, the UKs financial services authority knew that the London bank was in trouble when it gave the advice.
In October 2008, Alistair Darling stated that his Icelandic counterpart had told him that 'believe it or not', Iceland would leave the UK customers in the lurch. This has been proven (using questions posed under the Freedom of Information act) as a complete fabrication. However, Alistair Darling then forced the London bank into liquidation by freezing its assets - including the £500M his FSA had advised the IoM bank to place in it.
As the IoM bank went into liquidation (with the £500M gone, it went bust), 1000's of UK citizens, forced to now use an 'offshore' bank due to living abroad and the banking rules, were dreadfully affected. As the cries of agony were heard, the Labour government went into damage-limitation mode. They could have simply returned the £500Million, but that would have meant admitting a mistake.
With no concern over the personal damage being inflicted on decent innocent British citizenz, Mr Darling, Ian Pearson and various other players defended the action by labeling those affected as Tax Dodgers and the Isle of Man as a dodgy overseas tax haven.
They ignored the fact that these people so badly affected had had no choice in using an offshore bank, that the UK FSA had advised the bank to use a known-bad London bank to put £500Million in and that it was the direct action of Mr Darling not instructing the return of the £500M that was the key issue. He had the power to instruct the return but didn't use it."
Browns shouts even louder. "ARREST THIS MAN FOR SOMETHING UNDER THE OFFICIAL SECRETS ACT. I DON'T WANT SEE HIS FACE AGAIN."