The Queen's Birthday Party descended into chaos yesterday and had to be prematurely broken up as a massive food fight broke out between the guests and their hosts.
A source told me that the party, attended by heads of state, and various celebrities started off ordinarily enough, with the singing of Happy Birthday followed by HRH opening her presents, then the usual round of party games, with US President Barack Obama winning at musical chairs and Osama Bin Laden winning pass the parcel.
The trouble started when the food was served. As the guests were tucking into jelly and ice cream and huge wedges of cream cake Prince Philip made an off colour remark to a Japanese guest, resulting in a heated exchange which culminated in the Prince pushing a huge wedge of sloppy cake into the Japanese guest's face. The response to this came back to the Prince in kind.
Then according to our source, all hell let loose and the air was filled with flying food. Thankfully, nobody was seriously hurt in the fracas, but the Queen did catch a bowl of blancmange in the face and Princess Anne had to change her underwear after PM Gordon Brown stuffed a large portion of trifle down her knickers.
As things threatened to get out of hand the Household Cavalry were forced to step in to quell the disorder. Prince Philip was sent up to his room for an early night with no supper, the Queen was treated for an attack of the vapours, and Princess Anne was told to sit on the 'naughty step' for an hour.
The latest information I have is that a massive clean up operation is in progress and that an emergency delivery of Cillit Bang has successfully been delivered to Buckingham Palace.
More as I get it.