Written by bubblyian
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Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Concerned by falling attendances and worried that this may be related to its paternalistic approach, the church has decided to change certain aspects of their approach to make them more politically correct in an attempt to win over modern day feminists.

The songs will no longer be called 'hymns', but from now on will be called 'hers'.

The holy trinity will no longer be - 'father, son and holy spirit' - this will become -'mother, daughter and holy spirit'.

Twelve additional female disciples will be added to the 12 male disciples from the bible in order to have equal representation. Similarly, 4 more gospels will be added to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John by 4 women - Sally, Tracy, Susan and Melissa.

All choirs, ministries and other roles within the church will now be held equally by men and women.

A spokeswoman said, "We have been accused by the feminists of reinforcing male-dominated values and that is unacceptable to 21st century women. We have had to consider
novel ways of appealing to the new women." Only time will tell whether this new approach increases attendances or drives away the traditional church member.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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