Written by Nae mair crap
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Topics: volcano, Iceland

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for The Icelandic masterplan
yes the caps is in place for now

Henrik and Olaf (not their real names to protect anonymity) are two vulcanologists, geologists, and economists who are extremely well educated and have taken advantage of every uni and college course Iceland and Denmark has on offer. They did not have much else to do in the long,cold winter days. Their winter nights were filled with Carlsberg, probably the best lager in the world, and doing what comes naturally to virile young Nordic guys.

They amassed a small fortune but lost most of it in the great Icelandic bank collapse of 2009. They still blame the damn British and Dutch, but mainly the British bastards who screwed Icelanders to the wooden floors and bled them dry. From that time they have sworn revenge. After months of planning they came up with an utterly wicked plan worthy of the UK MP's, who tried to strip every last penny from the UK Treasury.

Phase One has already been unleashed with better than expected results, but this was only a test for the Big One. They laugh at the concept of Cameron's "Big Society" ploy to fool the UK electorate. They haven't seen BIG, agree Henrik and Olaf.

This duo of dangerous desperadoes have come up with a way to control the volcanoes, thermal springs and glaciers all over Iceland and are unleashing their fury on the world a little bit at a time.

They have detonated that unpronounceable volcano so that it's blast coincides with the favourable Jet Stream to throw European air transport into chaos. They have succeeded and controlled the explosions of ash. Just enough to allow the aircraft to resume their flights and to give the world an overwhelming sense of security.

The trial blasts have proved their economic theory that they can ground every aeroplane at any airport and throw the world economy into a nosedive. Demand will far exceed supply, then they will enter the market with a carefully gathered supply secreted all over Iceland and collect the huge profits to be made from supplying a very demanding, hungry and desperate market.

Hidden in a vast frozen underground network of caves and tunnels they have stored all the veg and fruit they have been shipping to Iceland every day for a year.

In a few weeks, they will explode an even bigger volcano, hidden under 100 metres of ice and begin a month long destruction of the world economy.

More of this in a month. Not smiling now, are you, Mr Brown?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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