Written by Earl Grey
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Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for Nick Clegg Election Strategy The Work of a Taxi Driver
"... and we should pull out of the EU. Bloody frogs!"

Nick Clegg's sudden surge in the polls is the work of a London taxi driver. The Liberal Democrat leader was in third place when he hailed a cab one evening. That journey may have changed the course of British politics.

The cab was being driven by Stig O'Toole, a veteran cabbie, and, as Clegg sat in the back, the driver began to outline a future for Britain. "I blame the parents. In my day if you stepped out of line you would get a thick ear. Oi, geezer, get out the way! Another thing, immigration. Too many. We are the minority now. Come on, I ain't got all day! The economy is right up shit street. We need an industrial base again. Style? That Cameron-he's worth copying. Looks good on the box. Right, that's £60 gov."

Clegg was mesmerised by the political philosophy. He took notes all the while he was in the back of the cab. He had finally discovered just how to make the Liberal Democrats appear electable-by behaving like another party!

Stig O'Toole has since been offered a cabinet position in any future Liberal Democrat government, along with Raymond Herpes, a market trader from Luton.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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