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Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for Nick Clegg denies Sam Cam baby paternity
Wham-Bam-Thankyou-Sam!

London - (Lead-In-Yer-Pencil-Mate): Slipping easily into election pole position this week the Lib Dem leader brushed aside claims he might have given the Tory campaign a useful legover - er, leg up! - makeover.

Clegg, 43, famously touted his masculinity in 2008 admitting in a GCHQ Magazine interview to having shagged 'no more than 30' - but Sam Cam appears not to be one of them.

Rumored to be the bastard son of ex-Tory MP Michael Portillo the Lib Dem leader has also been probed about claims he is Chelsea captain John Terry's brother.

"It's all in the eyebrows, mate," Clegg responded.

"John Terry may have a passing resemblance - but plenty of really good looking, successful, charismatic blokes often compare themselves to me," the shy and modest MP for Sheffield Hallam said today.

As for Samantha Cameron - nee Sheffield - all the signs point to husband David being the father of her September-due tot.

"Get a life, slimebag," were Mrs C's only comments today when reporters asked the Nick Clegg question during a photo-op outside the Royal Freak Hospital pregnancy clinic.

Last year Clegg rounded on baby advice guru Gina Ford for her 'bonkers' advice on parenting.

Likening her nannying skills to 'keeping an infant firmly in the closet' Clegg slammed her Contented Little Baby Book as control freakery nonsense.

Supernanny Jo Frost weighs an astonishing20 stone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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