Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Britain

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

image for British Patriotism At An All Time High
The Best Of Times...The Worst Of Times

A survey carried out this morning revealed that the British are riding high on an unprecedented wave of patriotism, which might seem somewhat surprising considering the country is stumbling out of recession, just getting over the winter white-out, suffocating under a cloud of volcanic ash, and learning how to live without aviation - for a few days at least.

So with thousands of Brits stranded abroad, being ripped off left, right and centre by unscrupulous French opportunists, holidays cancelled, Cheryl Cole all but dropping out of the headlines and John Terry's alarming dip in form, just why are the Brits so stubbornly optimistic?

Nick Clegg and the Lib-Dems for starters. He was by far the best dressed in the televised leaders debate, and although he didn't have much to say, he sounded more honest than Messrs Brown and Cameron and promised a bright ray of sunshine for a distinctly cloudy future.

Then we had the return of the Dunkirk Spirit as a flotilla of small boats piloted by shameless publicity seekers set sail across the channel to rescue stranded British holidaymakers. Because of the fallout from the Icelandic volcano and the resultant aviation suspension.

On top of that, we had the return to our TV screens of Britain's Got Talent. Who could fail to fall in love with that dancing dog, the little drummer boy, Amanda Holden, or that kid who sang White Cliffs Of Dover like she was undergoing shock therapy?

And there's a World Cup looming. England are expected to win it. And they will. No problem.

Note for the uninitiated:- When people realise what Lib-Dem policy encompasses, they'll jump ship much quicker than they ever got on board. If the Icelandic volcano's 'big brother' kicks off, it'll make Mount St Helens seem like a fart in a wind-tunnel. BGT is just a load of shit. And expect drunken rioting in the streets when England get knocked out of the World Cup by a team of Accrington Stanley equivalents.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

6 12 15 1

Go to top