Written by Nae mair crap
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Topics: Iceland

Monday, 19 April 2010

image for We are sailing, says Mandy
homeward bound, we don't wish, we are, homeward bound

You've got to hand it to him, Lord Mandelson gets things done. The problem child of New Labour, sacked, rehired, chucked out on his ear, brought back, the man of the minute who knows how to get back in the news.

His latest masterstroke, use the Royal Navy, send an aircraft carrier to France to fly the flag and show the world that New Labour gets things done. The Ark Royal, no less, symbol of Rule Brittania and a sight for many Brits sore, tired eyes. He's going to be smiling from ear to ear as the Ark Royal sails into a UK harbour, full of smiling relieved faces. He might even whirl Tonnie Rocca round the Blackpool ballroom.

Just like the Thatcher Falkland Fleet only this time no one got killed.

Fighting for their political lives in a General Election campaign, New Labour has thumbed their noses at their detractors and challenged the Tories to trump that. The Tories don't have a trump card this time, they watch in amazement as New Labour says to the UK population, this is how it is done.

It's a laugh a minute for Brown and his New Labour legions as poor Cameron travels the country bleating the same old, same old. Cameron dreamed a dream in days gone by. Maybe life has killed the dream he dreamed? A broken down record? (I always get Susan Boyle in somewhere). No, he hasn't got a record, he's never held down any important Government position. He's just broken, all his waffling, falling on audiences filled with his parents and family and Tory ex Eton chums.

Even the LibDems are ashtually attacking on another front, slowly overtaking the Tories and Labour in the polls. Tory Central must be ashen faced and crapping themselves? How could it happen, we were 10 points ahead for months, they ask? Ashes to ashes is not their favourite song. But a week is a long time in politics. Looks like an hour and a half on prime time TV was too long for Hairbrush Dave?

Looks like the unelected, Prime Minister and appointed Business Secretary are having their day in the sun after all. It's freezing cold in Iceland and at Tory HQ

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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