Eu Assistant Commissar, Haynes Manuel, this afternoon announced a cunning plan to get Europe's stranded air passengers home. The plan is so cunning and secret that it won't be revealed until next Wednesday ensuring all the passengers on the EU Gravy train can attend a glittering launch party to announce it.
There are rumours of a leaked document showing Kabul Airport to be used as the main European transport hub. Cattle trucks will ferry people home via the "Al Quaeda Highway" to Mogadishu & Yemen where they will be loaded onto now empty supertankers kindly donated by the Somali maritime community.
Prime Minister Gordon Brown denied rumours that all of the stranded UK Citizens were Conservative Voters & took the opportunity to announce that he's extending the District Line from Upminster to Calais & also launching a flotilla of small ships to take stranded Brits off the Beaches at Dunkirk where they've been forced to seek shelter amongst the dunes after savage fighting with German tourists in the town centre.