Television presenter and historian Dan Snow has launched a daring invasion of Europe to coincide with Adolf Hitler's birthday. Snow rescued stranded holiday makers at Dunkirk, took them back to Britain and then landed at Normandy with a crack unit made up of an accountant from Tring, two shop workers from Lowestoft and the Franklin family from Nuneaton.
Snow is planning to batter his way through to Berlin in as short a time as possible. "I'm fascinated by history. We can learn so much. For example, did you know that Dunkirk was a military disaster? I learnt all about disaster and I've managed to replicate a highly successful fuck-up."
Adolf Hitler's birthday is on the 20th April. Snow has the chance to conquer most of Europe before this date. He is also intending to give a speech at Nuremburg in a bid to increase his team. The accountant from Tring is hoping to visit a beer hall.
Meanwhile, officials in Calais have said that any other escaping British tourists will be shot. Some Brits have begun to distract attention by jumping over a wooden horse on a daily basis. An escape committee has been formed at Stalag 234, otherwise known as the Prix Unique Hypermarket. Stig O'Toole said "It is the duty of every British holidaymaker to try and escape. For us the holiday may be over, but I'll be buggered if I'm giving up."