Written by Earl Grey

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Saturday, 17 April 2010

image for Cheryl Cole: Why I'm Giving Ash the Brush Off
Ash: Time to go

Cheryl Cole is cleaning up her act. The first step is to give ash the brush off. The singer said "I need to give ash the brush off. I feel as though I have been living under a cloud. It's been choking me. I need freedom and I need clean air. I had to wait for ash to go before I could fly high in the charts again."

Ash has been spotted all over Britain. He is well known for putting him self about and going where the wind takes him-usually to a seedy hotel room with a hairdresser called Sharon. There are even suggestions that ash may be spotted at Stamford Bridge in time for kick off.

Cheryl Cole, meanwhile, is hoping for a new start. "I've cleared the dirt away from my life. Sometimes he had a temper and could blow like a volcano. I'm glad he's gone and I'm ready to live again".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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